What's Tony Thinking

On the Lighter Side


It’s been a quiet week here, by the bay, west of Ballard.

Linda had cataract surgery on Monday. The prep nurse explained to me that because she was giving Linda something to relax her, I would be the boss for the next twenty-four hours.

I got so giddy with the prospect that I forgot to mind the eye-drop schedule — until the patient woke to remind me that if I was in charge I was doing a crap job.

We got our act together. And, besides, before long my termporary emergency powers expired, making the world safer for most everyone.

On Tuesday evening I passed up the opportunity to go to a brewpub with the three and seven year old grandchildren, and their father. Not sure how it happened, but apparently Seattle’s strategy to save those who might over-imbibe is to send in the kids and the dogs. If you won’t go home to your family, they will come to you.

Meanwhile, I stayed home to watch the President address the nation from the Oval Office.

He was not having fun. So sad. It’s terrible what the Democrats have done to him. Just saying “no,” and all. But the whole thing lasted only nine minutes. So that was kind of fun for the rest of us.

On Thursday I got out for my first day of skiing this year. So far, it’s been a warmer than usual year. I wonder why that is — could it have something to do with an actual, not-to-be-mentioned emergency, aka “the Chinese hoax?” A lot of rain has been mixed with the snow, discouraging fair weather skiers like me.

Still, I took to the slopes on Thursday with the expectation that my moderately intensive off-season core work, coupled with watching videos of expert skiers, had transformed me into Jean Claude Killy.

Let’s just say my expectations were a little off. Also I had forgotten that my body was adjusting to a new medication for what is termed “urgent incontinence,” which means, “I gotta pee right now — stop the damn car.” As distinguished from “stress incontinence,” which is “Don’t make me laugh.”

So instead of carving the slopes like an Olympian, I was pretty much the same skier as I had been when the last season ended only I couldn’t pee even when I got to the bathroom.

My six year old grandson reminded me of my former, wiser approach to skiing as he described his own. “I’m not very good, but it’s fun.”

Or in the words of the famous Beatitude not from our Lord, “Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall be satisfied.”

Still, as the week wrapped up, Linda was seeing better, I was peeing again and across the water the sun shone on the snowy Olympics. So what more could you ask for than that?

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